{"id":5470,"date":"2021-09-06T15:19:25","date_gmt":"2021-09-06T07:19:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/3cmspace.com\/?p=5470"},"modified":"2025-08-05T14:02:21","modified_gmt":"2025-08-05T06:02:21","slug":"coming-home-when-missionaries-come-off-the-field","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.3cmspace.com\/zh-hans\/coming-home-when-missionaries-come-off-the-field\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming Home: When Missionaries Come off the Field"},"content":{"rendered":"

They were so vulnerable and wounded, barely able to make eye contact. They\u2019d gone overseas directly after college, bright with hope and the thrill of obedience. And here they were, three years later, looking so lost and alone, feeling all the weight of their supposed failure.<\/em><\/p>\n

When missionaries come off the field, many churches and families don\u2019t know what to say and the missionaries themselves don\u2019t always know how to move forward. Some missionaries are forced out by circumstances completely outside their control, like political instability or a family crisis. Others leave because they have fulfilled their role in that ministry and God is moving them to another phase of obedience. Sometimes, catalysts like team conflict, moral failure, or burnout cause a missionary to return. Each of these situations brings with it unique challenges and grief, but churches, families, and supporters can help ease missionaries\u2019 transition back to their home country.<\/p>\n

HOW THEY ARE FEELING<\/strong><\/p>\n

LOSS and CONFUSION<\/strong>\u2014 For most of the missionaries who return, there were teammates who became like family, and local relationships that defined their daily interactions. They also lost access to the people group they love and desperately want to see transformed by the grace and salvation of Christ.<\/p>\n

They are also adjusting their cultural sense of normalcy. They understand the social and political climates and conversations of their field. When they come back, they have to relearn their home culture, and the people they love have grown and changed. They themselves aren\u2019t the same as they were before they left.<\/p>\n

One missionary explained, \u201cYou know yourself, but you don\u2019t know yourself here.\u201d<\/p>\n

There is often a search for a purpose. After spending so much of their lives and energy in missions, how do they move forward? What was the point for their time on the field? What career options will fit them now?<\/p>\n

At the same time, suggestions and advice about what they should do next can simply add to their stress. One worker confessed, \u201cIt was difficult to hear some people suggest ideas right away. We were numb and not in a good state to make big decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n

The missionaries could also be feeling a mixture of emotions, which they will probably not be able to communicate succinctly. A returned missionary realized, \u201cI have to figure out how I can explain this to someone who\u2019s never done this and they\u2019re just not going to understand the depth of emotion and the highs and lows that come with returning.\u201d<\/p>\n

HOPE<\/strong>\u2014 There is comfort in being around those who love them. They cherish the time to share life with their friends and family. They are blessed to experience corporate worship again, and to see the Church responding to their family in love and encouragement.<\/p>\n

They know that God is faithful, and they hold on to the promise that He works all things together for His ultimate purposes. They want to continue serving Him, and they look forward to seeing how He will use them.<\/p>\n

HOW YOU CAN HELP<\/strong><\/p>\n

PRAY<\/strong>\u2014 Pray for their family to adjust. Pray for the friends, teammates, and people group they left behind. Pray for their decisions and future. Tell them you are praying for these things.<\/p>\n

GIVE TANGIBLE THINGS<\/strong>\u2014 There are practical things that will assist the missionary family in their transition. Your church can encourage and pay for formal debriefing. This will give the family the tools they will need to properly process, grieve, and celebrate their experiences on the field.<\/p>\n

You can also find out what physical things the family needs. Usually, when workers return, they lack most of the standard household furniture and supplies they need to create a normal life. You can help with moving and settling expenses and physical labor. Offer to baby-sit the kids to allow the parents time to talk and plan. Provide normal activities like hanging out over dinner or watching a movie.<\/p>\n

LISTEN<\/strong>\u2014 In an interview for Expat Women in 2007, Ruth Van Reken explained, \u201cComfort is simply acknowledging the loss, validating its reality, and giving the person space to grieve properly before pushing him or her to move past it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ask about their lives in the field, about the everyday things and the defining moments \u2014 and then let them talk. Give them a chance to remember, laugh, and cry. Deliberately suppress your impulse to fix the situation.<\/p>\n

Avoid comments like, \u201cI bet you\u2019re glad to be home!\u201d\u00a0 In many cases, they no longer feel at home, and the transition is harder than they ever expected it to be.<\/p>\n

WITHHOLD JUDGMENT<\/strong>\u2014 It\u2019s easy to judge whether they should have done something differently, but you simply don\u2019t know. They can\u2019t change any of that now anyway.<\/p>\n

Remember that God moves in ways we seldom understand. He took a team conflict between Paul and Barnabas and created two successful ministries instead of one. He used Joseph\u2019s forced exit from his home to deliver two nations from starvation, and after Peter publicly rejected Jesus three times, God made him the founder of the modern Church. God is always working.<\/p>\n

MOVING FORWARD<\/strong>\u2014 Returning missionaries need patience and grace and the freedom to grieve and celebrate what they\u2019ve left behind.<\/p>\n

Though their experiences will change them for the good, they won\u2019t disarm them forever. God can and will use what they\u2019ve learned and accomplished for His Kingdom. Their journey isn\u2019t finished yet.<\/p>\n

The young couple who sat with downcast eyes, struggling to move forward after returning from the field, has now been back three years. Recently, they realized, \u201cIn the moment of everything happening, it feels like such a heavy burden. We felt guilty that we weren\u2019t following through with what we told people we would do. We felt like failures. But in the end, we can appreciate everything that we learned and did and can see how much more effective it has made us in the ways we are able to serve now. Coming back to the USA wasn\u2019t the end. In a lot of ways, it was just the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n

–Carla Williams is a writer for Team Expansion of Louisville, Kentucky. This article was originally published in 2012 in that mission’s magazine tell. Reprinted here with the kind permission of the author.<\/p>\n